Call

He called me, with a frantic cry.
I can hear it, clearly, from the other end of the phone.

"I want to cancel the deal."

"What deal?" I ask.

"I want to die first.
Before this, I've said that, you should die first.
Because I don't want you to suffer from losing me."

"Why?" I ask again.

"I've had a dreamt.
You died.
And I..I just cannot live without you."

He sobbed.

I stayed silent.
Waiting for him to continue.

"I just cannot bear the thought of losing you.
In my dream, I just went crazy.
Alone, hopeless with no one to be with.
I don't even know what to do.
When I wake up, that feelings were still linger."

"Are you sure you want to die first?"

He suddenly hesitated.
"But you will be lonely.
Can you go on without me?"

"Maybe part of me will die along with you.
But I can be strong knowing that you will take care of me from the other side."
I answered.
This situation, I've been prepared since knowing him.

Silence.

"Hello?"

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"I think, I can bear this craziness.
You will be lonely.
I don't want you to be lonely.
Who will protect you?
You should die first.
I'll think of myself later."

I smile.
Knowing that this is just stuffs that we playfully deal.
Not really a real deal.
However, it's getting to him.
Well, Qada' and Qadar is not in our hand.
He know that too.
But, he just afraid that no one will protect and take care of me.
That's the real reason of this deal.